The Chitlins

 Something I failed to realize, after adopting nine chitlins, is that it's a life long position. It doesn't end when they turn 18. Not that I've ever put much thought into it, the kids are just part of my life, no matter their age.

Like Seamus calling me 2 nights ago, clearly in distress. His 6mo old baby boy has a bleeding diaper rash because his daycare isn't changing his wet diapers enough and they just let Zack cry. Seamus on the verge of tears "what do I do mama?" My heart ached for him. "Keep his little butt dry. Use a water based ointment on his rash, it will soothe him and very little talc powder on top of that. Don't squeeze it in the air, he'll breathe it in his lungs. Lastly, change daycares. If you're not happy at this one, either find a new daycare or find someone who keeps kids in their home, they often have more time to pamper those they are in charge of. Honey, All babies need pampering."

Or Alley calling me at 2 am tonight, drunk off her ass, talking about how her and Heather broke up and Heather moved out today. I listened and consoled her, over the phone. I hung up around 3:30am, when she started snoring. She's still my baby, I don't care if she is 24yrs old.

My point is, I'm always available for my children. They are the most important people in my life. Am I a good role model? Hell No! I've always tried my best though. They know it. As little kids, I made the hard times seem like an adventure. It shocked me years later, to hear them talk about those days being their best memories.

I have never put anyone before them. Man or Woman. Let a mutha fucker say shit and see an evil bitch appear before you're eyes. I once dated a whole grown ass man who said "is that your little black boy?" In the blink of an eye, I replied "No, he's chocolate. Mine is more of a brownie." Then I got up and as was starting to walk away he said "smartass bitch!" Hahaha! "I hollered back " thank you! That's better than being a dumbass bastard!" And up went the one finger salute. We were done.

Then I dated a real nice guy who accepted that I was a package deal and loved stepping into a dad type role but understanding my boundaries on not laying his hands on my kids, in anger. If I didn't do it, nobody was, ya hear me? I'm not saying they didn't get punished, I'm saying I didn't turn into a monster and hit in anger. I was raised in an abusive home, so I punished and did not abuse.

I loved Jeff. He was the best guy. He moved in with me & the kids,  after a year of dating. Some dates included me, him and all of the kids, lol. We loaded all the kids in the 15 passenger van, that was loaded with snack, chips and 2 coolers of drinks.. Then took off to the local drive in theater for a double matinee, or go bowling, play putt putt, go skating, day time picnics after hiking some mountain trails, go lazy rafting down the chattahoochee river in inner tubes, fishing, etc. Jeff loved going on our family excursions! The kids tried real hard to not like him but they did. They actually pressured me to marry him but I explained how I didn't need a piece of paper to be loyal.

We lived together for 8 years. It wasn't always bliss, we had our ups & downs. He didn't have other children, he wasn't able. It ruined his first marriage and she abused him because of it. Her hatred forever affected him. I would often wake him from a nightmare and he would cry because it was about the abuse she inflicted on him. Like how she would wake up at 2 or 3am just to wake him up by beating the Hell out of him with a leather belt. I got the chance to slap her face, at his funeral, after he suffered a year with prostate cancer. I took care of him until the end. That's what you do for the people you love. His family helped out when they could but there were plenty nights when I had to go to work. The kids would already be asleep and the oldest was 16, he listened out for the other kids & Jeff too. All of the kids checked on "papa Jeff", they loved him too. I remember the littlest one, sitting beside him, in her teletubbie jammies, reading him stories from her favorite books while he sucked on a popsicle that Alexie insisted "would make him all better." It was the most adorable sight!

When things became really bad for Jeff, his parents insisted on moving him in to their home. Jeff was comatose by then and the hospital said to call hospice in because there was nothing more they could do for him. I couldn't argue with his mom, she was losing her only child! He died 3 days later. The kids and I were devastated. I got them all into therapy plus myself. 

Yes, life is an adventure. Especially when little people live with you and you crave their hugs. To me, they will always be my babies, even if they're 20, 30, 40, .. Etc.

These chitlins are pro creating or adopting! I have 11 grand chitlins!! 😮 With 2 sets of Triplets!! I sent them all cards with gift cards inside. I wrote "it's not a race! Space out them babies!" 😆